Tuesday, 25 December 2012


Evasive with agressive calm,
Trembling with every passive motion inside,
delving deep into what is me?
A spirit with nurture to God in Me
I could not bring myself to dry out,
with pleasing eyes,
nothing attached,
Only the centre,
What is it?
washing away the stealthy,
healing my pride,
No one,no more?
The Void

Thursday, 27 September 2012

A wonderful discovery

The greatest gift of all I have
I cant give it up at all
a wonderful gift
I will not hide again
never again

Thankyou to all of you,
I dont know if I will be writing here again,
but it has been quite a journey
and I am very proud of all of you

Everyone of you,
Yes I love you

Thursday, 19 July 2012

I once thought

I once thought 'I want to see what a man feels like?'
With time I thought I knew and I was happy.Now I look inside of me and I know the truth.
Warm,protective,friendly and pure of purpose.
Something that was.Something that is essential for me.I think I know what it feels like now.Just humane.Simply humane.

Sunday, 17 June 2012

I am done trying

I am in a place for which I should be happy.I am not happy for how far I have come but just that I can share.I have no fear of intimacy.I have no fear of people.I love someone now that I couldnt imagine loving.I feel like the most beautiful girl in this world.I feel special.I feel me.

Thursday, 14 June 2012

Lousy Shadows

I never thought I would believe.I never thought I will have power over my words.I never thought I could taste a portion of the invincible life force.I feel so normal.I feel so human.I feel so positive.I am humbled beyond anything.I want you not to narrow yourself.Just breathe and be open to life.Be creative.You are the best thing that ever happened to you.

Sunday, 3 June 2012

No Me?!

I dress my thoughts in a gawky awkward motion.I walk the different steps where my pulse rate is casually stimulated by pushing hard.I cant make out the fast and slow.I am picking up on preserved strength and suffoacting passions like I never felt before.I never really knew what I am.I am drowning in this pressure.Just deeper and sharper.Only I never look back no more.

Wednesday, 9 May 2012

Over ripe tongue

I am over these,
this sound of my tongue,
like I say scream'scream'
like I find faults in this sugary youth
me myself this expanded road
to infinity
I just want a spectacle
and rather take a note
like dancers on swords
whores in a blackout
peevishly numb
Damn this language
break this thought
destroy me now
and start at none
draw in my breath
beneath my lips
color my conscious
just my body
My hollow utensil
a sensitive preaching
fill me up with you
you  and within
 like inside outside
Passive is this rocking on our mothers nest
of compatible crazy
of lives around
and amidst like us
We would change
this inside joke
laugh at rakes
and keep those secrets
beneath these sheets of vigorous nights
you and me
and that in between us

Friday, 27 April 2012

Or else a new chapter begins................

Its a cruel charisma of fantasy.This change from being a girl to a woman.Of resisiting that which never belonged to me.I cannot pacify the demons that still haunt my psyche.I cannot help but understand the painful critical self talk to the unreal personification of reality.This is insanity I know.But either I escape the charms of my mind or I escape the charms of routine.I revel in this sleeplike stage.This place where everything is nullified to the extremes of tremor.I have violated the very private spaces of thoughts or beliefs that one should never visit.I have broken the laws of being.Is it courage to my credit or is it just a foolish obesession.I will learn it but for now,life is no more what I still want.And it will turn out to oppose my expectations of how it should be.My emotions are truly exceeding my reality......................

Sunday, 15 April 2012


I remember being a child now,
where I swallow the hallowing seas,
I laugh and breathe to bring shame
to fear the one that nears
the laudable pride of the dusk
I sleep in the whispers of passion,
I am longing once more
breathing the breath of fire
breathing your breath with ease

Thursday, 22 March 2012


I just returned from an exhausting experience to revive and regain the supposedly anonymous self that I had lost over the years of coming to terms with the fact that I am Just ME!
I have been away from writing because I discovered that no amount of expression will help me till I get started on reaching the ultimate picture that I have been so long.I cant escape my doings.Good or bad.Everday assignments,life's trails,whether I have the strength or not.
I have plenty of work and travel to do.Plenty of expectations that I have to meet.More of myself than others.
Lets hope for the best.Wish me luck!!

Monday, 5 March 2012

Baisers voles

Being nothing,being clumsy and crappy and grouchy can help.You are all over the place and the place is out of order.Suddenly you cry and tell yourself"Its absolutely okay to mess up my life.Ofcourse its my life.I can hell do what I want to do with it"and then you cry a little more.It does help.When you run out of tears and run out of sympathy for self.You still lay in the corner thinking "God I am such a mess"
But then something just pops in your head that says"It is really your life"That is one annoying realisation and it does seem to bog you down even more.Hopeless.I am sometimes.But then I look at myself in the mirror,wear my kohl and I look absolutely fine.Nothing seems as out of order.Its all in the mind and how we manipulate it.Cant I get simpler?Cant I stop growing and understanding lifes complications.Peoples complications.Simplicity can help so much.It weaves into the hassles of life and brings light to all.Like unwinding a rough knot.A kiss,a hug, a gesture of gratitude they are never stolen.You never really run out of tears.And you never really run out of life!!

Thursday, 1 March 2012

New days

I got up this morning with a smile.It wasnt really a surprise cause I knew this would be coming,but it was a relief.A feeling of trustworthiness,love,freedom and security.Like I could breathe without doubt and could believe without expectations.I love you alot my friends.Thankyou for the love that you surrounded me with.I am sorry that I couldnt notice it for all the wrong reasons.But I wont do the mistake again.

Tuesday, 28 February 2012


When you seek acceptance from a wrong person,they often tend to lead you into the wrong path,making you believe things that are not true.They think they are the know it all,and often mislead you.But when you seek acceptance from a person who is honest about themselves,they will humbly tell you"Look this is what I know.What I can tell you is....."when they share their affirmations that is when things start to blossom.It is not always the fault of people who are dishonest.Its our fault that we dont have enough faith in ourselves.

Sunday, 26 February 2012


Carrie Bradshaw(Sarah Jessica Parker)of Sex and the City always inspired me.I was amused by her boyfriends especially Big and the nature of relationship that popularises freedom.I somewhat practised this mentality successfully with the guys that entered my life.I was younger.I was seventeen eighteen and my idea of glamour was limited.I was lost.Lost in figuring out what brings me in proper frequency to the world rather than what brings the world to me.However as I look back,I ended up attracting all wrong people towards me.I laugh at it now,in the fear of giving into the same patterns again.But I have learned a lot from this weird dating experience.I realised that no matter what you think you are,the reality of yourself surfaces when you deal with people.There are alot of things about ourselves,that even though we think we know,we cannot comprehend.So we leave it at that,shut it off and never look at it again.I have faced alot of my fears while growing up.The most amusing lesson I have learned is to cut down on my boldness.To be gentle and calm.And to be scared,when I am scared.Its important that you treat yourself gently.Everyday.and that is how you will learn that what inspires you is you.I would still agree to the idea of freedom in a relationship.I would still not want anyone to rule me.Maybe I would cry for a hundered days for love,but I will wake up stronger each day.Trust me,the power of valuing and celebrating womanhood is excellent.I am still learning it.I still have a long way to go.But no more funny and creepy obsessive lovers anymore.I want to breathe.Literally.
I just enjoy being a woman.I love being a woman.As I said I have the power to feel.I have the power to be honest about it.

Saturday, 25 February 2012


After my last post,I feel I haven't noticed how much things change.How much I have changed,how much people around me have changed.How much life changes.Its not like I am approaching change.Change has been with me already.I am already soaring high.The earth is slow.It takes time to evolve and so are we.Its just that our minds race so fast that we forget about the power that surrounds us.Recently soembody mailed me about synchronicities.I was surprised to find that I have people around me who believe as much as I do.These signs,beautiful messages of what we see and percieve and are lost with,the power of empathy is the greatest teacher.The power to share,the power of blessings is amazing.We survive for each other.Why fight?Yes the instinct to survival is important but there is something higher than us all.We do have to protect ourselves,with acceptance and prayers.The desire to let go.I told somebody that I am stuggling with my faith and the person was thats when you are at the edge of enlightenment.Because you do not believe that you deserve better.Everybody deserves better.Alot of things are in our control.Only if we look up and take notice.
I am glad I have the power to feel.I am glad I know now,what I have always been.
What is the power that you got?do you know what it is that you have always been?do you truly like it?
So be it!

Friday, 24 February 2012

In drama

I am often superimposed with images of the past,like smugly set in some non physical aspect that I am unable to get rid of.I often smile at my superiority on these situations,but my being is more wrenched with the games that were played and all that left me wounded.Rather lessons I like to say,that left a mark on me.That I would carry throughout my existence.But what is the most difficult of it all is to find the true essence.I would blame greed,ego,treachery,betrayal,dishonesty.I would blame myself with compassion from the other person's point of view,but I have learned to say no to other people.More bluntly to those that dont serve me anymore.I still think about the mass of life that influenced me.I am scared to face the new sometimes,for the fear of what might happen.But everytime I am proved wrong.I feel the minute sweetness of every little gesture of nature.I was with the wrong people and I was with the wrong living patterns.In these healing moments the fire breaks through with expression.The calm is rather maintained like a recluse.Change as scary as it might be for me,is ineveitable.Its like I dont like freedom,but dont want it to go away.I dont like liberty until I have exprienced it.I can be a bad learner,but my life till now has been a very liberating experience.

Wednesday, 22 February 2012

You never let yourself down

In the plethora of human scum that lays beneath the mask of astute criticism,it invades our energy,our boundaries,our thinking.Its more than just an influence,its dirty.The perseverance of charismatic ideas,to adopt and cajole and mock at,I believe its not just the perspicuous nature of acceptance but the tendency to withhold.If only one could blame the other in a more direct and spiritual manner,it would be understandable but the emotions that gather the loathing of the positivity can be tiring.This is jealousy.One that does not accept the growth and potential of the other.Its difficult,when the residence of the mind is in a materialistic platform,that it may raise to something higher than self.I also believe that the concept of self is much wider than one can actually percieve and no label is justifiable.What I am trying to put across is that the connection with self is much higher,trans like,beyond the human comprehension of existence.It circualtes,it changes,more like metamorphosis or transformation.That is the soul.The much wiser and wider concept of self than our mere lives of distortion.Distortion because its like a chain that captures our fears,apprehensions,traumas that even turn contradictory and hypocritical with passing lives.I believe apart from this untamed instinct,our concept of self must be changed.For this changes our reality and reality is nothing but what we think.We also think what we create and create what we think.There is both existence and possibility and both ineveitable and the defeat.We actually never let ourselves down.Its all in the influences,I have been talking about love and acceptance which is vital to a sense of detachment and purpose.But it never happens until you let go.Until you feel.Until you desire for one and for all.
I just believe there maybe a heaven that could deviate our patterns and way of life and it would be right here in our homes,in our neighbourhood,in our country,in our people and everywhere we think life exists.

Tuesday, 21 February 2012


In these mingling sensations when faces without a pronoun,like mixed entites,quarelling murmers,shadowy dispositions just emerge out of the perception of the one,like threatening to stop the the complete joy and bliss that evaporate with sanity,I believe that the one is all of us.The one spark of light that gave out dust or specks of illumination that could create a whole in this universe.I have lost my memory to this bliss.I have been succumbing to the pressure of the blessings that are bestowed on us.The ego that is damaged.Dimishing the idea of selflessness or selfishness,but the one.I want to be alone in this bliss.Unaware of the world at large.I want those murmurs to grow into voices and those shadows into intact faces.So I could distinguish the light from darkness.I could distinguish myself from others.I believe.I just believe.

Wednesday, 15 February 2012

When something manifests itself

I have had a rough time getting rid of the clutter in my mind,the negativity,the blockages,the attachments and releasing them.I believe we all resonate well when we resonate love and that is when the world comes together.We are all connected.Everything is connected.We are not just the body,but a storehouse of vibration,power and energy.Whatever we think,feel and see affects this universe and it is important that we do it the right way.Even in very small scales.When you feel at home.I hope we all begin to spread the messege of love,peace and harmony.So we could actually live a happily ever after.

Saturday, 11 February 2012

In the groaning purpose of life

It seems as if I am in flying the very dark corners of my mind,to enlighten the random successes of purity.I believe we all come here to serve a purpose.We are put on this plane to achieve our heart's wishes.Only if we could really open our eyes and see.We are really what we want to be.If you do not like what you see its the time to wake up and make changes.To make plans.And to dream.
Hope things work out for us all!
Good luck!

Thursday, 9 February 2012

Its the time to pray

I am simply thrilled with the time of prayer,when the enclosures of my heart find release into the very unknown routes to almighty and nature.Isnt it wonderful?when there are no unatainable goals to think of,no envy,rivalry,passion,friends,ties but just family,longevity the feeling of goodwill and calm.I ask forgiveness from all whom I have hurt knowingly or unknowingly.And I forgive all who have hurt me so.I ask all of you to connect with the god that exists in you.You are wonderful,beautiful and I love you.I forgive you for all your flaws.I dont notice them.I love you for the blessings you have and I want to share my blessings with you.Without the feeling of greed,lust,selfishness or judgement,For now at this time I accept you for what you are.I thank all those whom I ever met and I release all negativity and hurt from my mind.I surrender and ask you to do so.I wait with serenity and prayers to all those whom I may meet in the time to come.God bless us all.
Keep the light shining!

Tuesday, 7 February 2012

Eyes say it all

She looked up to the green
emerald of the sky
thats shone so bright in her eyes
chasing the blue,chasing the black
chasing the rainbow that hid the soul
believing in sorcerity of the tiny sparkles
of dust and ground
she kept herself earthed
with energies ever so confound
She gave a glimpse of an utterance of love
amidst all the tyrannies that behold
would it be a sin to admire
an anonymity that one so desires
A woman of flesh and blood
of luminous sparks that run off at distancing speed
a eyes so obstinate,an eye that grew of pain
the desolate life of a woman that must be crowned
onto earth's glories that were never found
of all the magic that women can practise
I believe its you that needed the acceptance
I believe its you that are so beautiful
I believe its you that needs to touch me
to change my desire into ashes
to burn me down with pain
so I could revive again
In your lap,rocked again
to be the one that shapes a promiscous wind
into a weapon of total
to feel safe,to feel wanted
to tame the inane
when I look into your eyes
that revert to dust
and the hidden soul
that rainbows must
conspire to win
I feel the tear on my cheeks
that you ever shed on the night
you first caught a tight hand
on the grip of her atrocious hands
that could kill the cruel
sway them off
with laughter
and a transpiration of desires
that would transform from me to you
of a mother that would die for the hues
of how me,still fragile says

Monday, 6 February 2012

Dear God

I acknowledge that you have made both men and women differently.I acknowledge the pain that one goes through in love.I accept what you have sent me and led me through,but this one time I am asking you for space.Even if I may turn childish and ask you for a man in my life,it is not a man,it is you I want.It is friendship I want.And I guess I have found them.I dont need anyone else.Against my futile wishes,please for the respect of my sincerity and goodness,I ask you to keep all evil at bay.I ask you to send me unconditional love,so that I can bestow that on others.I am begging you,please keep hurtful people away from me.I am not made for marriage.I am not a girlfriend material either.I dont want to lose my maiden status.Not for the sake of any guy/man.I want to be here,left in peace.So I could help people.

You know the energy I carry when I love,and I want to spend it on myself,on people who need it.My spirits have been telling me to take care.And you dont care about me and them if you dont listen.Please keep these people away.Selfish and greedy and hurtful and criminal minded.I want to be your's and your's only.For the time being for now,I trust that you have heard my prayers and will answer to them.

Let envy and jealousy flow into them who breed it.
Or let them melt away for their sake

Leave me in peace.Give me the strength.

I dont want a man,I want you!

Saturday, 4 February 2012

In something stupid like Love

I fall in love so many times and hopefully there is more
Keeps me busy as always when life would otherwise mourn with boredom :P


Just like I always spoilt it.

Wednesday, 1 February 2012

On the path to spirituality

We covet our desires,our ways and wants to impose it on people who are weaker or seem so.It seems everything in life is a cloud of dust,that cannot evaporate,diffuse or melt away.It just stays.It may scatter but it does exist.Whether its predestined for us to happen,I am still unaware.Its consequences are vast.But by the end of all of it,when we have come a long way,the moment is rapturous.Most people realise it late.For many it happens sooner.This is epiphany.The sudden realisation of something higher than ourselves.I believe that the universe is not for me to command and direct.But what I also understand is that neither am I a servant to these forces.We work simulataneously.We all do.Some realise,some dont.If today I come across an obstacle,I face it.I am honest to myself about what I want.This is just an opportunity to return victorious,to return safe,to vent our hidden passions,to calm down,to reflect a shining light to all.Because at this point the soul has nothing to lose,it is detached.I believe I still have enough ego that keeps me attached to the material pleasures of life.However,I am not swooning over money or I am not indulging in dishonesty,hypocrisy or any negative asset anymore.I kind of never have.Guilt has strongly accostumed me to the pleasures that are divine.What we feel inside,what we trust and have faith on,is what aids us.This world is a storehouse of power and there is a fine line between the real and the unreal.I am all set to evolve with time.I ready to master my emotions,myself.
We are all important.We all change.This is life and this is the mantra.

Wednesday, 25 January 2012

The girl child

I was always fascinated with martyr,victim patterns that women in our country often hold.Personally,I never had a boyfriend and I prefer not to have one.I believe my worth is much more to what a man would offer to give me.Its not that I was never in love,just that I have grown up and I am unable to deal with the cave man attitude.Recently  a newspaper quoted"let us agree to go beyond billboard exhortations'to love the girl child',an article that dealt with the decline in the child sex ratio from 927 in 2001 to 914 as per every 1,000 males last year,in 2011 that further stigmatises the sexual discrimination in our society.This should come as an alarm to us.The so called modernisation is still,however strenthening the patriarchal prejudices that predominate this country.Our different ways of putting across our policies are insufficient and are unable to go deep into the racist,sexist tendencies of India.I am still naive to talk about politics but what I understand is that there is alot of work to be done here and the cultural factor has to be looked into.Its something that goes deeper than just education.It has to be instilled in the society.I understand that there are acts that criminalise foeticide,or gender determination and there are acts that regulate the right to medical termination of pregnanacy.But my point here is What is beyond this problem?Is it in our history?Is it in our ancestors?Is it still in our blood?I believe women are responsible to answer these questions too.What are you doing to save your mother,daughter,sister or friend?Are you educating them?Even at the basic level?Alot of people work for the benefit of the society but is it really progressing?
I have had a secured childhood.But I have come across women who are unable to stand firm.As a result the bask in the mask of the new age woman but are lost and threatened inside.Threatened of being used,molested and lashed upon by the petty mindset that our society still dwells upon.As a woman it is my duty to respect other women and to bring awareness to those who are not there as yet.I have the privelige to be strong because of my family.I have the privilege to say I am proud of being a woman.I have the privilege to be honest with myself and I want others to be alike.Be it a man or a woman.I want a safe society for all.
We are the generation that has taken over now.The generation of ipads.The generation of equality.But does it really exist in your head?Are you treating people with respect?I believe this respect comes from within.I believe this is what makes a man.
I have nipped many a men in the bud for their indecent ways and peculiar mindset.I want a man who stands strong of being the other half of me.Call me traditional,old fashioned whatever.
Its not arrogance.Its not just pride for myself,but everyone around me.Its confidence.
If today I bring a man home,it affects me,it affects everyone around me.Its not just my life.I believe there are so many depended on me,some way or the other and I want them to look upto me.
For now as the newspaper article read"As for the core content of messeges,a lot can be said,but for now let us agree to go beyond billboard exhortations 'to love the girl child'.And recognize that the girl will grow upto be a woman one day"

One that pervades my senses

The supple land evaporates,
in the crimson red aroma
I diffuse into the sun
golden polished
juicing a lime for breakfast
When I shudder with the alarm
the scrupulous temper of the sky
My porcelain vase falls out of place,
my hands shaking,stifle the liquid
that snuff out the spark into pieces

I gather them around
hurriedly blood stained

My window flip flops when I touch it red
and lock it up
for water sparkles up and again
the vagueness of dirty rain comes up
the roses in the green washed in mud

Emulsified and ashamed
when I begin to walk out to them
I feel the pain in my fingers
thorned with agitation
wet and lonely I stand there
looking into my palms
the criss crosses,the wrinkles
that years had met
and I had yet to become
what had become of me

I break down
along with the skies
that pervade my impulses
I sit in the ground
and absorb the lost

Yet to make some coffee
to sedate my senses once again

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

My shadow

I see a teardrop
and my shadow runs past
through varied hues of a rainbow
laughing and rolling in the darkness
as I switch on the brightness
it clings to me
surprises me of its assiduous tastes
and I smile at my follies
while I take a leap into the garden
connecting to the elements of nature

When you belong to me

Supple are those days touched with
the brightness of rays
and yearning for more
to adore the tenderness of the waking hours
that I caught in my arms,
with a pinch of vermilion held against my forehead

I still strive to be
to understand the nameless hours
as suasive when they are
I cant believe what I touch feel and see

I would curl my body,
touch my head to yours
and speak to you
my hearts desire
and sleep amidst
roses and petals
where we would suck the honey off
and dress in the charm of gold
when you belong to me

Friday, 20 January 2012

A bad romance

Often in the vastness of the dark,I am lost deciphering the myriad signs and figures of the clouds,the blinking stars,the moon.I look for a messenger through them.Some energy.That would pass through me,follow me everywhere for a bad romance.
Humans are contemptible.Even me,I am in subtle ways.I want to learn the language that is not heard.Not spoken but feared,heard only in the mysteries of the night.I want to celebrate the night and the day,the masculine and the femine,the hot and the cold and sing glorious songs of praise to them,so they would reveal to me their secrets of power.Yes I am in love with the nature now.I want to play with the elements of life and death.I want to have a bad romance again this time.So I would turn into what I want to in time.
Power comes to those who choose not to harm.But they who revel in their rival's self destruction.
I choose power.I choose to play the game.

Sunday, 15 January 2012

I breathe rain

She smelled the absurdity of moist land and vapour that  touched her nostrils everytime she breathed rain.She was born in a local nursing home in the suburbs of Calcutta while it was raining and it was like rain had betrothed her since the day."Jhor escheche,jhor escheche"(Its a storm).She watched her mother and maid rush through the verandah collecting clothes and quilts."Bador meye.Dekhche maa khete khete morche."(look at you.cant you see I am working alone)She got up to aid the others when she saw him.He looked at her.It was always his intense yet short gaze that made her feel delicate and warm.She had known him since she was a child.And now after sixteen years of existence,it tickled her stomach.The thought of him.Something she owned and she hid it from herself.She felt shy.She was reminiscing her childhood when her mother yelled at her and slammed the door shut.
She met him occasionally.They cuddled and kissed.It only went upto the extent of necking.She was still on her guard at all times.Maybe that was the reason he still wanted her.Maybe she was the reason she felt proud.He went on to go to London.She stayed in India.They kept in touch.They talked alot.They fell in love.
He came back after five years.Almost a Londoner.They got married.She moved away from India.
London was dry and dirty.Loneliness had begun to take a grip on her.She was half delirious all the time.Eventually he started avoiding her.She discovered he had other girlfriends and was away most of the time.When at home he would often get physical.
One cold morning, she was at the pharmist when she almost fell down the staircase.She lost control and sat on a bench.When suddenly a man,a little younger than she was probably,came upto her and said"Miss are you allright?"
She looked at him in surprise"O yeah.I have just had a bad day"and forced a smile.
There was something so sympathetic and soft about his gaze.She wanted to cry.
He sat beside her,gave her a hankerchief and said"You are bleeding miss"
She finally saw the blood and burst into sobs.
"hey hey its okay.Its okay.Where do you live?"
"Across the street"
"Come I will help you"
He tried to help her to stand on her feet,when she couldnt.He moved her skirt a bit upwards and there was some bruises she got there.He half carried her.To her apartment.
At her place she offered him some coffee.He didnt say a no.He was twenty seven and an artist.His father was an Indian who married and English.But divorced.So he had to live with a step mom alot of his life.There was something so beautiful and boyish about him.It was like she wanted to mother him.She met him again.That night while talking alot she put her hands between his knees,he forced himself upon her.He unclothed her upper body and felt her breasts with his mouth.She let him be while she quickly moved her hands to hold the nape of his dark neck.After an intense session he pressed her legs against her body and told her he had had enough of her.A while later she gazed up at the ceiling with tears in her eyes.She touched his hair and wondered if he would still see her.In the morning she woke up alone on her bed with a note on the pillow.It was a number.She called up.It was him.She was glad he had a thrilled voice."hey meet me at my apartment tonight"
She said it wasn't possible since her husband would be home.That night he stayed outside her house.She could see him.Something inside her froze.
They would meet everyday and everyday they would make love.Her husband got suspicious.He got even violent when she decided to leave him.The matter took two years to solve and she finally married for the second time.
On the day of her marriage they went skinny dipping.She felt his hands.His lips and the subtle flow of water around the hinges of her body.She could taste the aroma of salt in her stomach when she finally breathed water again.

Thursday, 12 January 2012

A fluid that maims

A narrow serpentile fluid that maims,
the twitching between rugged rocks,
I come to touch the escaping ground,
standing still beneath my breasts,
a mother that whispers those careless smiles
to a owner of those hapless beguiles
Twisting and slapping against him,
the one who mocks to protect in time
they come to reveal a small,beautiful
subtle to my poverty enclosed
I sweep my feet
against the in betweens
against the hinges of their's
to find a haphazard
to find a nervous moist
pleasure that breathes to feel inside

Sunday, 8 January 2012

Of kisses and follies

I just recuperated from an illness.An illness where I was unusually in love and the object of my obsession was following me around with stealthy tricks to track me down to my heart's core.It went to the extent that I started believing that every man's actions was related to my story.I loved being loved even if it wasn't true.Being chased can be so much fun.It can be so much pain.
This magesterial feeling of being posessed.It gives you a sense of assertion.The feeling of being connected to someone you have not met in years.Never talked to.Just like loving a foreigner.I have a had a history of running away from relationships from the people I thought I was attracted to.The people who were wrong.Maybe I am scared of the truth.Maybe I am scared of myself.Maybe I am scared of being myself.
Now I am back to the monotone of real successes than imaginary.Dreams can be so much fun.You get to be witty,smart,successful,child like and all the people are under your command.
I wish I could die for once,like shave my head,get a tattoo or pose nude.I wish I could get infamous and have nothing to lose.I wish I could touch the sky.I wish I could work in different languages.I wish I could read the future.Looking not just ahead.But looking any way I want to.Twisting time itself.
And still stay untouched.Untouched of being human.Untouched of the ground beneath my feet.Untouched of kisses and follies.

Saturday, 7 January 2012


Deliquescent in my core,
your ecstacies,
vibrant and ambiguous your games,
I crave to put you in a room
and lock you up again
just if the perenial dose of laughter
evade the drowsy bed
I feel in the head
your villanous touch
I scream for you
... behind my locked doors
desperate of desire
and a monotone of patience
I try to live for you
till you feel the insides of my fantasies
till you feel the susceptible on my face
in my arms
flooded with my tears
and pleasure
for I seek to be mothered
for I seek to feel
just for you and no one else

Monday, 2 January 2012

Of smiles and colors


Supine and playful,
reorients back,
mumbling an embarassing epitaph
to secrecy
a laudable pride
a distinguished ignorance,

They blabber the power,
dirty presumptions,
hopeless hapless
breathing haughtily
enduring and signing
those messy scriptures
till patience cries

or antique?
pestilence absurd
is all that would dry
in the sunshine
till mind is
too fragile
heartless innocence
fateless minds

recoursed in struggle
a fugitive denied

supine and agonised
till perfervid
dies in a disfigured mask
of shame
and limpid souls
toughen in importunate patterns of demise

still supine
still playful,
dreading a secret lost
they have yet to surmise