Disillusionment

When you seek acceptance from a wrong person,they often tend to lead you into the wrong path,making you believe things that are not true.They think they are the know it all,and often mislead you.But when you seek acceptance from a person who is honest about themselves,they will humbly tell you"Look this is what I know.What I can tell you is....."when they share their affirmations that is when things start to blossom.It is not always the fault of people who are dishonest.Its our fault that we dont have enough faith in ourselves.

Inspiration

Carrie Bradshaw(Sarah Jessica Parker)of Sex and the City always inspired me.I was amused by her boyfriends especially Big and the nature of relationship that popularises freedom.I somewhat practised this mentality successfully with the guys that entered my life.I was younger.I was seventeen eighteen and my idea of glamour was limited.I was lost.Lost in figuring out what brings me in proper frequency to the world rather than what brings the world to me.However as I look back,I ended up attracting all wrong people towards me.I laugh at it now,in the fear of giving into the same patterns again.But I have learned a lot from this weird dating experience.I realised that no matter what you think you are,the reality of yourself surfaces when you deal with people.There are alot of things about ourselves,that even though we think we know,we cannot comprehend.So we leave it at that,shut it off and never look at it again.I have faced alot of my fears while growing up.The most amusing lesson I have learned is to cut down on my boldness.To be gentle and calm.And to be scared,when I am scared.Its important that you treat yourself gently.Everyday.and that is how you will learn that what inspires you is you.I would still agree to the idea of freedom in a relationship.I would still not want anyone to rule me.Maybe I would cry for a hundered days for love,but I will wake up stronger each day.Trust me,the power of valuing and celebrating womanhood is excellent.I am still learning it.I still have a long way to go.But no more funny and creepy obsessive lovers anymore.I want to breathe.Literally.
I just enjoy being a woman.I love being a woman.As I said I have the power to feel.I have the power to be honest about it.

Synchronicities

After my last post,I feel I haven't noticed how much things change.How much I have changed,how much people around me have changed.How much life changes.Its not like I am approaching change.Change has been with me already.I am already soaring high.The earth is slow.It takes time to evolve and so are we.Its just that our minds race so fast that we forget about the power that surrounds us.Recently soembody mailed me about synchronicities.I was surprised to find that I have people around me who believe as much as I do.These signs,beautiful messages of what we see and percieve and are lost with,the power of empathy is the greatest teacher.The power to share,the power of blessings is amazing.We survive for each other.Why fight?Yes the instinct to survival is important but there is something higher than us all.We do have to protect ourselves,with acceptance and prayers.The desire to let go.I told somebody that I am stuggling with my faith and the person was thats when you are at the edge of enlightenment.Because you do not believe that you deserve better.Everybody deserves better.Alot of things are in our control.Only if we look up and take notice.
I am glad I have the power to feel.I am glad I know now,what I have always been.
What is the power that you got?do you know what it is that you have always been?do you truly like it?
So be it!

In drama

I am often superimposed with images of the past,like smugly set in some non physical aspect that I am unable to get rid of.I often smile at my superiority on these situations,but my being is more wrenched with the games that were played and all that left me wounded.Rather lessons I like to say,that left a mark on me.That I would carry throughout my existence.But what is the most difficult of it all is to find the true essence.I would blame greed,ego,treachery,betrayal,dishonesty.I would blame myself with compassion from the other person's point of view,but I have learned to say no to other people.More bluntly to those that dont serve me anymore.I still think about the mass of life that influenced me.I am scared to face the new sometimes,for the fear of what might happen.But everytime I am proved wrong.I feel the minute sweetness of every little gesture of nature.I was with the wrong people and I was with the wrong living patterns.In these healing moments the fire breaks through with expression.The calm is rather maintained like a recluse.Change as scary as it might be for me,is ineveitable.Its like I dont like freedom,but dont want it to go away.I dont like liberty until I have exprienced it.I can be a bad learner,but my life till now has been a very liberating experience.

You never let yourself down

In the plethora of human scum that lays beneath the mask of astute criticism,it invades our energy,our boundaries,our thinking.Its more than just an influence,its dirty.The perseverance of charismatic ideas,to adopt and cajole and mock at,I believe its not just the perspicuous nature of acceptance but the tendency to withhold.If only one could blame the other in a more direct and spiritual manner,it would be understandable but the emotions that gather the loathing of the positivity can be tiring.This is jealousy.One that does not accept the growth and potential of the other.Its difficult,when the residence of the mind is in a materialistic platform,that it may raise to something higher than self.I also believe that the concept of self is much wider than one can actually percieve and no label is justifiable.What I am trying to put across is that the connection with self is much higher,trans like,beyond the human comprehension of existence.It circualtes,it changes,more like metamorphosis or transformation.That is the soul.The much wiser and wider concept of self than our mere lives of distortion.Distortion because its like a chain that captures our fears,apprehensions,traumas that even turn contradictory and hypocritical with passing lives.I believe apart from this untamed instinct,our concept of self must be changed.For this changes our reality and reality is nothing but what we think.We also think what we create and create what we think.There is both existence and possibility and both ineveitable and the defeat.We actually never let ourselves down.Its all in the influences,I have been talking about love and acceptance which is vital to a sense of detachment and purpose.But it never happens until you let go.Until you feel.Until you desire for one and for all.
I just believe there maybe a heaven that could deviate our patterns and way of life and it would be right here in our homes,in our neighbourhood,in our country,in our people and everywhere we think life exists.

Euphoria

In these mingling sensations when faces without a pronoun,like mixed entites,quarelling murmers,shadowy dispositions just emerge out of the perception of the one,like threatening to stop the the complete joy and bliss that evaporate with sanity,I believe that the one is all of us.The one spark of light that gave out dust or specks of illumination that could create a whole in this universe.I have lost my memory to this bliss.I have been succumbing to the pressure of the blessings that are bestowed on us.The ego that is damaged.Dimishing the idea of selflessness or selfishness,but the one.I want to be alone in this bliss.Unaware of the world at large.I want those murmurs to grow into voices and those shadows into intact faces.So I could distinguish the light from darkness.I could distinguish myself from others.I believe.I just believe.

When something manifests itself

I have had a rough time getting rid of the clutter in my mind,the negativity,the blockages,the attachments and releasing them.I believe we all resonate well when we resonate love and that is when the world comes together.We are all connected.Everything is connected.We are not just the body,but a storehouse of vibration,power and energy.Whatever we think,feel and see affects this universe and it is important that we do it the right way.Even in very small scales.When you feel at home.I hope we all begin to spread the messege of love,peace and harmony.So we could actually live a happily ever after.

In the groaning purpose of life

It seems as if I am in flying the very dark corners of my mind,to enlighten the random successes of purity.I believe we all come here to serve a purpose.We are put on this plane to achieve our heart's wishes.Only if we could really open our eyes and see.We are really what we want to be.If you do not like what you see its the time to wake up and make changes.To make plans.And to dream.
Hope things work out for us all!
Good luck!

Its the time to pray

I am simply thrilled with the time of prayer,when the enclosures of my heart find release into the very unknown routes to almighty and nature.Isnt it wonderful?when there are no unatainable goals to think of,no envy,rivalry,passion,friends,ties but just family,longevity the feeling of goodwill and calm.I ask forgiveness from all whom I have hurt knowingly or unknowingly.And I forgive all who have hurt me so.I ask all of you to connect with the god that exists in you.You are wonderful,beautiful and I love you.I forgive you for all your flaws.I dont notice them.I love you for the blessings you have and I want to share my blessings with you.Without the feeling of greed,lust,selfishness or judgement,For now at this time I accept you for what you are.I thank all those whom I ever met and I release all negativity and hurt from my mind.I surrender and ask you to do so.I wait with serenity and prayers to all those whom I may meet in the time to come.God bless us all.
Keep the light shining!

Eyes say it all

She looked up to the green
emerald of the sky
thats shone so bright in her eyes
chasing the blue,chasing the black
chasing the rainbow that hid the soul
believing in sorcerity of the tiny sparkles
of dust and ground
she kept herself earthed
with energies ever so confound
She gave a glimpse of an utterance of love
amidst all the tyrannies that behold
would it be a sin to admire
an anonymity that one so desires
A woman of flesh and blood
of luminous sparks that run off at distancing speed
a eyes so obstinate,an eye that grew of pain
the desolate life of a woman that must be crowned
onto earth's glories that were never found
of all the magic that women can practise
I believe its you that needed the acceptance
I believe its you that are so beautiful
I believe its you that needs to touch me
to change my desire into ashes
to burn me down with pain
so I could revive again
In your lap,rocked again
to be the one that shapes a promiscous wind
into a weapon of total
to feel safe,to feel wanted
to tame the inane
when I look into your eyes
that revert to dust
and the hidden soul
that rainbows must
conspire to win
I feel the tear on my cheeks
that you ever shed on the night
you first caught a tight hand
on the grip of her atrocious hands
that could kill the cruel
sway them off
with laughter
and a transpiration of desires
that would transform from me to you
of a mother that would die for the hues
of how me,still fragile says

Dear God

I acknowledge that you have made both men and women differently.I acknowledge the pain that one goes through in love.I accept what you have sent me and led me through,but this one time I am asking you for space.Even if I may turn childish and ask you for a man in my life,it is not a man,it is you I want.It is friendship I want.And I guess I have found them.I dont need anyone else.Against my futile wishes,please for the respect of my sincerity and goodness,I ask you to keep all evil at bay.I ask you to send me unconditional love,so that I can bestow that on others.I am begging you,please keep hurtful people away from me.I am not made for marriage.I am not a girlfriend material either.I dont want to lose my maiden status.Not for the sake of any guy/man.I want to be here,left in peace.So I could help people.

You know the energy I carry when I love,and I want to spend it on myself,on people who need it.My spirits have been telling me to take care.And you dont care about me and them if you dont listen.Please keep these people away.Selfish and greedy and hurtful and criminal minded.I want to be your's and your's only.For the time being for now,I trust that you have heard my prayers and will answer to them.

Let envy and jealousy flow into them who breed it.
Or let them melt away for their sake

Leave me in peace.Give me the strength.

I dont want a man,I want you!

In something stupid like Love

I fall in love so many times and hopefully there is more
Keeps me busy as always when life would otherwise mourn with boredom :P

http://youtu.be/j6OBnqmDveY

Just like I always spoilt it.

On the path to spirituality

We covet our desires,our ways and wants to impose it on people who are weaker or seem so.It seems everything in life is a cloud of dust,that cannot evaporate,diffuse or melt away.It just stays.It may scatter but it does exist.Whether its predestined for us to happen,I am still unaware.Its consequences are vast.But by the end of all of it,when we have come a long way,the moment is rapturous.Most people realise it late.For many it happens sooner.This is epiphany.The sudden realisation of something higher than ourselves.I believe that the universe is not for me to command and direct.But what I also understand is that neither am I a servant to these forces.We work simulataneously.We all do.Some realise,some dont.If today I come across an obstacle,I face it.I am honest to myself about what I want.This is just an opportunity to return victorious,to return safe,to vent our hidden passions,to calm down,to reflect a shining light to all.Because at this point the soul has nothing to lose,it is detached.I believe I still have enough ego that keeps me attached to the material pleasures of life.However,I am not swooning over money or I am not indulging in dishonesty,hypocrisy or any negative asset anymore.I kind of never have.Guilt has strongly accostumed me to the pleasures that are divine.What we feel inside,what we trust and have faith on,is what aids us.This world is a storehouse of power and there is a fine line between the real and the unreal.I am all set to evolve with time.I ready to master my emotions,myself.
We are all important.We all change.This is life and this is the mantra.