Friday, 24 February 2012

In drama

I am often superimposed with images of the past,like smugly set in some non physical aspect that I am unable to get rid of.I often smile at my superiority on these situations,but my being is more wrenched with the games that were played and all that left me wounded.Rather lessons I like to say,that left a mark on me.That I would carry throughout my existence.But what is the most difficult of it all is to find the true essence.I would blame greed,ego,treachery,betrayal,dishonesty.I would blame myself with compassion from the other person's point of view,but I have learned to say no to other people.More bluntly to those that dont serve me anymore.I still think about the mass of life that influenced me.I am scared to face the new sometimes,for the fear of what might happen.But everytime I am proved wrong.I feel the minute sweetness of every little gesture of nature.I was with the wrong people and I was with the wrong living patterns.In these healing moments the fire breaks through with expression.The calm is rather maintained like a recluse.Change as scary as it might be for me,is ineveitable.Its like I dont like freedom,but dont want it to go away.I dont like liberty until I have exprienced it.I can be a bad learner,but my life till now has been a very liberating experience.

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