Karma

There was a time I hated being cornered.I didnt like being centred either.I wanted things to work my way.I wanted to be in control.I wanted to possess,yet I didnt want to be possessed.And I felt completely alone.The trick was to dig deep in the dirt yet come out safe.Impassivity became an adventure.I took pleasure in guilt,because I didn't own it.I was forcing myself to be something I was not.And I wont deny, it still exists in me.I dwelled in pedantry,in futility,in excessive want.I felt worthless,frustrated.I was however unaccountable for what was going around me.Call me spoilt,but I dont blame myself completely.Escapism was the one way I could feel what I wanted to feel.I wanted to narrow myself as that girl,who was different.Who was strong.Who was bright.People often called me a "good girl".Though I never really understood what they meant.Today,I am responsible for what I do and what I say.I am responsible if I say yes to a relationship.I am responsible if I say no to my ambitions.I am aware of the consequenes.I am aware what I give is what I get.I am aware that I have let go of certain people,relationships.I am moving to the next level here.What I do is what I am.What I feel is what I am.I am sending this messege to the universe well aware that karma exists.Yes its a hell of a bitch.
I am writing to vent.To feel what I have felt so long.Its all in the purity of the purpose.If you want it,you get it.No extrinsic force can change that.The power is within us.
Life is truly beautiful.The mantra is to give a lot to this world.To relax,to be happy and make others happy.
Theres alot more to what you have.Theres alot more to you than you can imagine.