I once thought

I once thought 'I want to see what a man feels like?'
With time I thought I knew and I was happy.Now I look inside of me and I know the truth.
Warm,protective,friendly and pure of purpose.
Something that was.Something that is essential for me.I think I know what it feels like now.Just humane.Simply humane.

I am done trying

I am in a place for which I should be happy.I am not happy for how far I have come but just that I can share.I have no fear of intimacy.I have no fear of people.I love someone now that I couldnt imagine loving.I feel like the most beautiful girl in this world.I feel special.I feel me.

Lousy Shadows

I never thought I would believe.I never thought I will have power over my words.I never thought I could taste a portion of the invincible life force.I feel so normal.I feel so human.I feel so positive.I am humbled beyond anything.I want you not to narrow yourself.Just breathe and be open to life.Be creative.You are the best thing that ever happened to you.
Smile.

No Me?!

I dress my thoughts in a gawky awkward motion.I walk the different steps where my pulse rate is casually stimulated by pushing hard.I cant make out the fast and slow.I am picking up on preserved strength and suffoacting passions like I never felt before.I never really knew what I am.I am drowning in this pressure.Just deeper and sharper.Only I never look back no more.

Over ripe tongue

I am over these,
this sound of my tongue,
like I say scream'scream'
like I find faults in this sugary youth
me myself this expanded road
to infinity
I just want a spectacle
and rather take a note
like dancers on swords
whores in a blackout
peevishly numb
Damn this language
break this thought
destroy me now
and start at none
draw in my breath
beneath my lips
color my conscious
just my body
My hollow utensil
a sensitive preaching
fill me up with you
you  and within
 like inside outside
Passive is this rocking on our mothers nest
of compatible crazy
of lives around
and amidst like us
We would change
this inside joke
laugh at rakes
and keep those secrets
beneath these sheets of vigorous nights
you and me
and that in between us

Or else a new chapter begins................

Its a cruel charisma of fantasy.This change from being a girl to a woman.Of resisiting that which never belonged to me.I cannot pacify the demons that still haunt my psyche.I cannot help but understand the painful critical self talk to the unreal personification of reality.This is insanity I know.But either I escape the charms of my mind or I escape the charms of routine.I revel in this sleeplike stage.This place where everything is nullified to the extremes of tremor.I have violated the very private spaces of thoughts or beliefs that one should never visit.I have broken the laws of being.Is it courage to my credit or is it just a foolish obesession.I will learn it but for now,life is no more what I still want.And it will turn out to oppose my expectations of how it should be.My emotions are truly exceeding my reality......................

Oui!!

I remember being a child now,
where I swallow the hallowing seas,
I laugh and breathe to bring shame
to fear the one that nears
the laudable pride of the dusk
I sleep in the whispers of passion,
I am longing once more
breathing the breath of fire
breathing your breath with ease
(smiles)