When I look in the mirror...............

I was born in a cocoon,whipped with criticism,love and anger.Taking for granted the times ,when I look at myself,at the people around me and being unable to categorize them as beings but something that God daubs in the canvas of the world again and again.And when I come across someone whom I may admire,I believe its the commencement of the new me.The verve,the requiem for the self is being different,not blithe.There are times again, when I  yield into the cantankerous lot,sometimes even to myself,I sin.I sin to my identity where ignorance requiting wrong cannot win over.But this futile persisitence in my head,unlike the puritan or the draconian,or a self posessed being declaring some misanthropic euphoria,I believe in what I do or I try to do.


I have been cruel to myself.Sometimes to people I love.I am trying to denounce myself by conveying my life's melancholia,idecisiveness.Enrapturing the prisioner in me.Setting afire the callous in me.
I have been obesessive and impulsive.I have lived in nostalgia,where I discovered my constructive self.


Though,I still look in the mirror.I still look at myself.I dont know if I love enough,but I care.
Who am I?What am I to do NEXT?


I have built a wall of respect.Should I break it?
Should I drag myself away from this self made home?


Or should I die again,amongst the people?
Like living an unsuitable abstinence?


So I begin to fret once again...........................